Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Safe

I've been thinking about things that feel safe...jotting some notes. Here's what my subconscious has produced so far:

I think it's winter that gets me thinking about feeling safe, being safe. What feels more safe and secure than snuggling under a blanket with your head resting on a fluffy pillow? What makes a parent feel better than wrapping her chilly child in a toasty warm comforter with woolly socks and watching her drift off to sleep? I hear the furnace kick on and know that my family will be warm in spite of the 7 degree temp outside. I make a pot of decaf at 10pm and watch the snow pile up on my frozen deck outside. It just feels good. In control.

Maybe it's me...I rarely felt a sense of "safe" as a kid/young adult--I was always waiting for the bottom to drop. And drop it did, many times. I think my brother and I walked an emotional tightrope for 20+ years. Perhaps feeling safe as an adult, and making sure my children feel safe, is that much more important because I know so well how disturbing UNSAFE feels.

I don't buy that though. I mean, who doesn't have some sort of shitty childhood story? I think this notion of Safe is something we all look for regardless of our past.

More to come. What makes you feel safe?