Thursday, May 20, 2010

Sporty Mom-mobile = Oxymoron

So I've spent the last three days serving on a jury in Detroit. Nothing like three days in the ghetto to make me appreciate my regular gig here in the 'burbs. More on that experience later...

Anyway, was sitting at a red light today and noticed something amusing. I was behind a red Chrysler mini van, which proudly boasted a "Sport" insignia that was placed there by the manufacturer. Mini not compute. Nothing against mini vans (if Ford bothered to make one, I'd probably own one too!), but, um, why try to make it "sporty"? Surrender the fantasy, friend--you're driving a mini van. Accept it.

Whatever that "Sport" package offered, be it bigger tires, glossier paint, or fresh rims, I assure you that at no point did I miss the fact that the vehicle is, in fact, a mini van. There's just nothing sporty about a mini van. Perhaps this "sport" concept can only be understood and appreciated by other people who drive mini vans.

I was thinking of alternate labels for "Sport" and came up with the following:
  • * "Sucks Less Than a Regular Mini Van"
  • * "I Paid More so I Could Have a Nice Car Stereo, Even Though the Only CDs Loaded are Barney Rock Tales and Here Come the ABCs".
I guess neither of those would fit too well on the back of the car though, eh?

So be on the lookout for these sporty mini may think it's a Maserati GranCabrio cruising up behind you, but don't be fooled. It's just a Town and Country with the Sport package.

Nothing but love for my mini van friends! :)